👪 Nine Steps of Effective Parenting 👶
Effective
parenting: " is
defined as the ability to interact and engage with children in such a way that
they learn and grow into remarkable adults. takes daily effort to connect with
children on a meaningful and personal level."
Raising kids is one of the
toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world — and the one for which you
might feel the least prepared.
Here are nine child-rearing
tips that can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.
1. Boosting Your Child's Self-Esteem
Kids start developing their
sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents' eyes.
Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed
by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything
else.
Praising accomplishments,
however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently
will make them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or
comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless.
Avoid making loaded
statements or using words as weapons. Comments like "What a stupid thing
to do!" or "You act more like a baby than your little brother!"
cause damage just as physical blows do.
Choose your words carefully
and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that
you still love them, even when you don't love their behavior.
2. Catch Kids Being Good
Have you ever stopped to
think about how many times you react negatively to your kids in a given day?
You may find yourself criticizing far more often than complimenting. How would
you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance, even if
it was well intention-ed?
The more effective approach
is to catch kids doing something right: "You made your bed without being
asked — that's terrific!" or "I was watching you play with your
sister and you were very patient." These statements will do more to encourage
good behavior over the long run than repeated scolding’s.
Make a point of finding
something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards — your love, hugs, and
compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find
you are "growing" more of the behavior you would like to see.
3. Set Limits and Be Consistent With Your Discipline
Discipline is necessary in
every household.
The goal of discipline is to
help kids choose acceptable behavior's and learn self-control. They may test
the limits you establish for them, but they need those limits to grow into
responsible adults.
Establishing house rules
helps kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules
might include: no TV until homework is done, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful
teasing allowed.
You might want to have a
system in place: one warning, followed by consequences such as a "time
out" or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is failure to
follow through with the consequences. You can't discipline kids for talking
back one day and ignore it the next. Being consistent teaches what you expect.
4. Make Time for Your Kids
It's often difficult for
parents and kids to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality
time together. But there is probably nothing kids would like more. Get up 10
minutes earlier in the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child or
leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner. Kids who aren't
getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave
because they're sure to be noticed that way.
Many parents find it
rewarding to schedule together time with their kids. Create a "special
night" each week to be together and let your kids help decide how to spend
the time. Look for other ways to connect — put a note or something special in
your kid's lunchbox.
Adolescents seem to need less
undivided attention from their parents than younger kids. Because there are
fewer windows of opportunity for parents and teens to get together, parents
should do their best to be available when their teen does express a desire to
talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and other
events with your teen communicates caring and lets you get to know more about
your child and his or her friends in important ways.
Don't feel guilty if you're a
working parent. It is the many little things you do — making popcorn, playing
cards, window shopping — that kids will remember.
5. Be a Good Role
Model
Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching
their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before
you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that
how you want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you're constantly
being watched by your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually
have a role model for aggression at home.
Model the traits you wish to
see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Exhibit
unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward.
Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you
expect other people to treat you.
6. Make Communication a Priority
You can't expect kids to do
everything simply because you, as a parent, "say so." They want and
deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we don't take time to explain,
kids will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have
any basis. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn
in a non-judgmental way.
Make your expectations clear.
If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your
child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make
suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child's suggestions as well.
Negotiate. Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them
out.
7. Be Flexible and
Willing to Adjust Your Parenting Style
If you often feel "let
down" by your child's behavior, perhaps you have unrealistic
expectations. Parents who think in "should" (for example, "My
kid should be
potty-trained by now") might find it helpful to read up on the matter or
to talk to other parents or child development specialists.
Kids' environments have an
effect on their behavior, so you might be able to change that behavior by
changing the environment. If you find yourself constantly saying "no"
to your 2-year-old, look for ways to alter your surroundings so that fewer
things are off-limits. This will cause less frustration for both of you.
As your child changes, you'll
gradually have to change your parenting style. Chances are, what works with
your child now won't work as well in a year or two.
Teens tend to look less to
their parents and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide
guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to
earn more independence. And seize every available moment to make a connection!
8. Show That Your
Love Is Unconditional
As a parent, you're
responsible for correcting and guiding your kids. But how you express your
corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it.
When you have to confront
your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which undermine
self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, strive to nurture and
encourage, even when disciplining your kids. Make sure they know that although
you want and expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.
9. Know Your Own
Needs and Limitations as a Parent
Face it — you are an
imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader.
Recognize your abilities — "I am loving and dedicated." Vow to work
on your weaknesses — "I need to be more consistent with discipline."
Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your spouse, and your kids.
You don't have to have all the answers — be forgiving of yourself.
And try to make parenting a
manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than
trying to address everything all at once. Admit it when you're burned out. Take
time out from parenting to do things that will make you happy as a person (or
as a couple).
Focusing on your needs does
not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which
is another important value to model for your children.
Contact us at :-
📩 = info@royalukeducation.com
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